Clarissa's Diet

Looking to lose a few extra pounds? Got some pesky love handles you are dying to get rid of? Maybe a few inches you want to lose from your waist so that you are looking slim and trim for holiday portraits? Well, I may possibly be of service to you.

Forget Jenny Craig, say goodbye to Weight Watchers. I have the ultimate weight loss plan to introduce to you: Clarissa's Diet. What does it consist of? Well, I can tell you what it doesn't consist of. There is no restricted diet, absolutely no exercise plan, and not a single pill or supplement. Nope. Nada.

All it requires is a one month stay at mi casa and you will be on your way to the body of your dreams! Yes, you heard right. I guarantee that if you come and stay ONE MONTH at my apartment, you will shed at least twenty pounds of unwanted fat and bulge.





You may be wondering: how in the world is this possible?





Well let me fill you in on a little secret....





For the past three weeks now our fridge has looked like this:

'Tis true. Our fridge has been almost entirely empty for nearly a month now. In other words, I've been living off of water and air... and I've never looked better!

Ok, not really. I've eaten food. I mean, hello?! I, of all people, cannot last even a day without a single carb. Nonetheless, our fridge has really been that strikingly bare for quite awhile now. Not only is it depressing but it's also troublesome.

What do you suppose I do at ten o'clock at night when I'm hit with an intense case of the munchies? I can assure you I don't reach for that tub of butter or that jar of Sriracha hot chili sauce. Neither are capable of satisfying that late night hunger craving... or any craving for that matter. And the eggs you ask? Well, the eggs could be a feasible option but that particular carton was one of the brands recently recalled for possible Salmonella so we've been understandably hesitant to consume them... and apparently hesitant to throw them away as well.

But before you start showing up at our front door with canned goods or send us directions to the nearest food bank though, please know that we are not that broke. We've just been too busy to go shopping/are weird eaters/love having an excuse to eat out.

I will, on the other hand, accept any and all donations in the form of cash, check, or pumpkin pie... oh, and Nordstrom gift certificates. Those will work, too.