Aliens are real and I'll prove it

The woman in the above picture is some model, hence the tall slender figure and long brightly lit runway. I'm not really sure of her name though because I don't follow up on supermodels much since I don't want to do any further damage to my self-confidence. I do think she's a Victoria's Secret model, and I'm only saying that because I receive their catalogues every month- despite the fact that I have never ordered one thing from it. Personally, I can't bring myself to buy something without trying it on/seeing it in person/touching the fabric. The chances of me liking something I ordered from a catalogue is low, yet the chances of me being lazy and not returning it are high. I can't risk that. When you are a young, broke college student like myself you have to be wise with your money, and ordering a hot pink lace corset with matching panties is not exactly the wisest decision.

And again, I digress.

The main focus of this post is that nameless half-naked chick above. Despite being a model, she is... an alien. Now before you roll your eyes at me and click on the tiny 'X' in the upper right hand corner of your browser window, hear me out. This woman is not of our species. She is an entirely separate life form. This is blatantly obvious to me, perhaps because I've seen Men in Black and Mars Attacks! like a bazillion times, but I understand that it may not be as obvious to the untrained eye; therefore, I have taken it upon myself to enlighten all three of my readers as to why this 'model' is actually an enemy to humanity.

Top #4 reasons I'm certain the above model chick is related to E.T.:

1.  She has no bellybutton. It's a known fact that humans have belly buttons and aliens do not. I do not see any apparent bellybutton in the above photo- neither an “innie” nor an “outie”. All that I do see is what appears to be a poorly airbrushed bellybutton on her abdomen, which was obviously a lame attempt to make her appear human.  
2. Her hair. It's totally alien style. All tall and conehead-ish. At the same point it's yet another attempt to disguise her alien citizenship, more specifically her misshapen head/bulging brains/space antenna. That hideous bouffant hairdo is not fooling anyone, and neither is that tightly fastened headband.
3. She is floating in thin air. Look at her feet. She is not walking- or as the fashion people say, 'gliding'- down the runway. In actuality she is FLOATING down the runway. What type of beings hover in mid air? Aliens.
4. She is unnaturally thin. She literally does not have an ounce of fat on her and for that I refuse to believe she is an authentic woman. Real women cannot resist the temptations of chocolate, ice cream and wine. She has clearly never had a piece of chocolate in her life. Aliens do not eat; they feed off of energy... and human souls.
5. Her eyes. She is totally giving the alien stare. You can tell that behind those eyes are lasers that have the power to burn a hole through a human body. Notice how disconnected her eyes are from reality? Yeah, it's because she is plotting the demise of mankind.

This isn't an isolated incident either. Look at these other aliens disguised as 'models':

 

Call me paranoid, call me jealous. Whatever. I'm just trying to send out a public warning. You can consciously accept this warning or ignore it, just don't come crying to me when a flock of Calvin Klein models show up to your house and abduct your children and dog.