Forgive me web friends, for I have sinned

Today I did something that I vowed I would never do. I did something that for once may actually cause me to lose all family, friends, and even acquaintances. Something so horrid and shameful that I must admit it in writing in order to cleanse myself of all sinful feeling… sorta like when Catholics go to confession except I’m not Catholic but instead a member of the technology generation and it’s to the interwebs I pray.


Moving along… It’s been nearly eight hours since I did this dirty deed and I still feel uneasy about the whole thing. To be honest, I’m confused as to what really happened. What caused this tragic turn of events? Was I brainwashed? Mind spasm? Quarter-life crisis? I want to know how I got here and what direction I should go next.

Tonight as I sit here in my living, with the lights down low and candles lit, I hopelessly scream out, “Why, oh WHY, did I do this? Someone please tell me…. Why on earth did I…. buy… CLOGS?!”


YES. It’s true, my friends. I, Clarissa [Last name revoked due to privacy/weirdo issues], purchased a pair of wooden clogs.




Mine are a tad less traditional than this


It all happened so fast. One minute I was walking into the store and the next minute I was walking out with a pair of stocky wooden slip-on heels. I’m shocked, I’m appalled, I’m embarrassed, and I’m… torn. Yes, TORN. I have suddenly succumbed to the current most hated trend in fashion and am not sure whether or not I’m ok with this.

I blame it on Jeffrey Campbell and his extraordinary talent at shoe design. Nearly every shoe that that man turns out tugs at my heart strings. I’ve always been a fan of chunkier shoes, which Jeffrey Campbell excels at. I also adore his funky mod designs that drastically separate his shoes from all other generic shoe designers. If there is anyone to turn me on to the whole clog thing it would certainly be him. And he did... I think.



A sample of his manipulative work


I’m still in a bit of shock though, and also denial. I almost refuse to allow myself to go along with this. As I type this I contemplate returning them back to the store first thing tomorrow morning. Not only will I have more cash in my wallet but I will also have my dignity back intact.

Then, while piecing this post together, I came across this collection of images:

MILEY CYRUS WEARS JEFFREY CAMPBELL CLOGS, TOO! Suddenly everything feels so much better. I mean if a mega celebrity like herself sports identical shoes than I’m fine! Actually, I’m better than fine- I’m extra hip and totally on top of what’s hot in Hollywood!

Yeah, not. Discovering that picture did nothing but make me feel even more mortified. Today I not only bought a stupid pair of Dutch inspired shoes, but I also likened myself to Miley Cyrus.


ULTIMATE FAIL.