Clarissa+Gum=Love

I have a passionate infatuation with gum. How passionate you ask? Let’s just say that I go through several packs a week. I’m like Violet Beauregarde from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. It’s that serious. The chances of you catching me without a pack of gum in my bag is about -.05%. In truth, I probably have multiple packs on me, typically at least one fruity flavor and one mint flavor.


At this rate it can be somewhat of an expensive habit so I often buy multiple packs when a certain brand is on sale at the grocery store. I would guesstimate that I spend approximately $7-10 a week on gum, which to me, a broke college student, is a sizeable amount of money. I still make the sacrifice though since it’s not a bad habit to feed into. Gum not only freshens your breath but it also cleans your teeth. What’s so bad about that?

After all, I could be addicted to meth. But I'm not. Thank God.


Gum > Meth.

Anyway, I was at Fred Meyer yesterday buying eight hundred pounds of grapes- another costly addiction of mine- when I came across a catchy display of new gum flavors. Upon closer inspection I discovered that Wrigley’s Extra gum has released a new line of flavors titled ‘Dessert Delights’ featuring the following flavors: Key Lime Pie, Chocolate Chip Mint, and Strawberry Shortcake. Being a huge fan of everything and anything in the dessert category, I immediately swooped up a pack of the Key Lime Pie. I was so stoked I may or may not have unwrapped the pack before even stepping foot outside the Fred Meyer exit.

My verdict?

HOLY YUM! It’s amazing. As I raved to a few people, you can not only taste the creamy key lime but also the buttery graham cracker crust! It's every Weight Watchers member's dream come true. But really- try the gum. NOW. It’s so realistically delicious. I plan on trying the other flavors as soon as I get through this pack, which will likely be at the end of today.

After discovering this astounding gum, I began to brainstorm other realistically delicious flavors. To touch upon Charlie and the Chocolate Factory again, it’s kind of like the three-course meal flavor Willy Wonka developed, which contained the flavors of tomato soup, roast beef with a baked potato, and blueberry pie- all which are experienced in sequential manner when being chewed. Y'know, like a real three-course meal. Der.

Without further ado, here are some flavors of gum I would trade my right pinky finger for. (Because who uses that finger anyway?)


Pumpkin Pie with Whipped Cream

Mango Sticky Rice

Banana Nut Bread



Red Bean Mochi



Cherry Cheesecake



Champagne


B’s dream flavor?



Turkey Dinner

Barf.

Feel free to chime in with your personal fantasy flavors.

Or not.

Whatever.