"Yo, mama!"

While watching Hook the other night I came to realize that the film packs some mighty impressive insults, more particularly during the dinnertime spat between Peter Pan and Rufio. I've included the script below in case anyone may be in need of verbal ammunition for potential future squabbles.

Peter: I bet you don't even have a fourth grade reading level.

Rufio: Hemorrhoidal suck naval.

Peter: Or maybe a fifth grade reading level.

Rufio: Boil dripping beef fart sniffing bubble butt.

Peter: Someone has a severe ca-ca mouth, you know that?

Rufio: You are fart factory, cheesy, scab picked, pimple squeezing finger bandage! A week old maggot burger with everything on it and flies on the side!

Peter: Substitute chemistry teacher!

Rufio: Mung tongue!

Peter: Math tutor!!

Rufio: Pinhead!

Peter: Prison barber!

Rufio: Mother lover!

Peter: Nearsighted gynecologist!!

Rufio: In your face, camel cake!

Peter: In your rear, cow derrière!

Rufio: Lying, crying, spying, prying ultra-pig!!

Peter: You lewd, crude, rude, bag of pre-chewed food dude!!

Rufio: You... you man! You stupid, stupid man!

Peter: Rufio, if I'm a maggot burger why don't you EAT ME, you two-toned zebra-headed paramecium brain, munchin' on your own mucus, suffering from Peter Pan envy?!

Kid/Bystander : ... What's a paramecium brain?

Peter Banning: I'll tell you what a paramecium is. It's a one-celled critter with no brain, that can't fly!! Don't mess with me man, I'm a lawyer!

 
I personally plan on keeping many of these in mind for the next time B and I get into a heated battle, especially the 'nearsighted gynecologist' stab. He won't even know what hit him.