I thought I would provide a quick update and let ya'll know that I did in fact return the clogs this morning. I wasn't kidding in that last post. I truly was experiencing severe inner turmoil regarding the purchase.
You can all breath a sigh of relief and add me to your friend roster once again. That is if I was ever on the list to begin with.
Jerks.
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Saturday, October 9, 2010
Forgive me web friends, for I have sinned
Today I did something that I vowed I would never do. I did something that for once may actually cause me to lose all family, friends, and even acquaintances. Something so horrid and shameful that I must admit it in writing in order to cleanse myself of all sinful feeling… sorta like when Catholics go to confession except I’m not Catholic but instead a member of the technology generation and it’s to the interwebs I pray.
Moving along… It’s been nearly eight hours since I did this dirty deed and I still feel uneasy about the whole thing. To be honest, I’m confused as to what really happened. What caused this tragic turn of events? Was I brainwashed? Mind spasm? Quarter-life crisis? I want to know how I got here and what direction I should go next.
Tonight as I sit here in my living, with the lights down low and candles lit, I hopelessly scream out, “Why, oh WHY, did I do this? Someone please tell me…. Why on earth did I…. buy… CLOGS?!”
YES. It’s true, my friends. I, Clarissa [Last name revoked due to privacy/weirdo issues], purchased a pair of wooden clogs.
It all happened so fast. One minute I was walking into the store and the next minute I was walking out with a pair of stocky wooden slip-on heels. I’m shocked, I’m appalled, I’m embarrassed, and I’m… torn. Yes, TORN. I have suddenly succumbed to the current most hated trend in fashion and am not sure whether or not I’m ok with this.
I blame it on Jeffrey Campbell and his extraordinary talent at shoe design. Nearly every shoe that that man turns out tugs at my heart strings. I’ve always been a fan of chunkier shoes, which Jeffrey Campbell excels at. I also adore his funky mod designs that drastically separate his shoes from all other generic shoe designers. If there is anyone to turn me on to the whole clog thing it would certainly be him. And he did... I think.
I’m still in a bit of shock though, and also denial. I almost refuse to allow myself to go along with this. As I type this I contemplate returning them back to the store first thing tomorrow morning. Not only will I have more cash in my wallet but I will also have my dignity back intact.
Then, while piecing this post together, I came across this collection of images:
MILEY CYRUS WEARS JEFFREY CAMPBELL CLOGS, TOO! Suddenly everything feels so much better. I mean if a mega celebrity like herself sports identical shoes than I’m fine! Actually, I’m better than fine- I’m extra hip and totally on top of what’s hot in Hollywood!
Yeah, not. Discovering that picture did nothing but make me feel even more mortified. Today I not only bought a stupid pair of Dutch inspired shoes, but I also likened myself to Miley Cyrus.
ULTIMATE FAIL.
Moving along… It’s been nearly eight hours since I did this dirty deed and I still feel uneasy about the whole thing. To be honest, I’m confused as to what really happened. What caused this tragic turn of events? Was I brainwashed? Mind spasm? Quarter-life crisis? I want to know how I got here and what direction I should go next.
Tonight as I sit here in my living, with the lights down low and candles lit, I hopelessly scream out, “Why, oh WHY, did I do this? Someone please tell me…. Why on earth did I…. buy… CLOGS?!”
YES. It’s true, my friends. I, Clarissa [Last name revoked due to privacy/weirdo issues], purchased a pair of wooden clogs.
 |
| Mine are a tad less traditional than this |
It all happened so fast. One minute I was walking into the store and the next minute I was walking out with a pair of stocky wooden slip-on heels. I’m shocked, I’m appalled, I’m embarrassed, and I’m… torn. Yes, TORN. I have suddenly succumbed to the current most hated trend in fashion and am not sure whether or not I’m ok with this.
I blame it on Jeffrey Campbell and his extraordinary talent at shoe design. Nearly every shoe that that man turns out tugs at my heart strings. I’ve always been a fan of chunkier shoes, which Jeffrey Campbell excels at. I also adore his funky mod designs that drastically separate his shoes from all other generic shoe designers. If there is anyone to turn me on to the whole clog thing it would certainly be him. And he did... I think.
 |
| A sample of his manipulative work |
I’m still in a bit of shock though, and also denial. I almost refuse to allow myself to go along with this. As I type this I contemplate returning them back to the store first thing tomorrow morning. Not only will I have more cash in my wallet but I will also have my dignity back intact.
Then, while piecing this post together, I came across this collection of images:
MILEY CYRUS WEARS JEFFREY CAMPBELL CLOGS, TOO! Suddenly everything feels so much better. I mean if a mega celebrity like herself sports identical shoes than I’m fine! Actually, I’m better than fine- I’m extra hip and totally on top of what’s hot in Hollywood!
Yeah, not. Discovering that picture did nothing but make me feel even more mortified. Today I not only bought a stupid pair of Dutch inspired shoes, but I also likened myself to Miley Cyrus.
ULTIMATE FAIL.
Your new favorite song
B introduced me to this YouTube gem that was too good not to share. The clip is from an early Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen children's film in which the girls rap about sleepover snackage. Not only does it focus on pizza, one of the most badass foods, but it also features some sick rhymes. Thanks to B and this video I've officially become a fan of surburban pubescent rap music
Ladies and gents, take a listen to "Gimme Pizza"-
Move over Jay-Z, there are some new chicks taking over the rap scene.
Ladies and gents, take a listen to "Gimme Pizza"-
Move over Jay-Z, there are some new chicks taking over the rap scene.
Friday night madness
B and I kicked off our Friday night with a big bang: dinner with my grandparents. I know. Intense right? Sometimes we are so wild it's almost unbearable... But anyway, we traveled up north this evening and enjoyed a decent yet overpriced meal with my all-time favorite elderly folks. Once dinner ended we immediately parted ways with my grandparents because they claimed they were 'tired and ready for bed' (read: sick of me). B and I weren't quite ready to head home yet though, so we decided to venture into a nearby mall and partake in some impromptu shopping. (Just for future reference, never go shopping after eating a heavy meal. A bloated gut + dressing room mirrors is never a good combination.)
To make a long story short, I ended up leaving the mall with a bunch of killer deals. I scored a a top for $3.50, two t-shirts for $5.00 each, and a dress for $6.50, bringing everything to a grand total of $20.33- tax included. As Wayne and Garth would say, "SCHWING!"
From then on I have pretty much felt like this:
A freakin' champ, baby.
Unfortunately this ultra-successful shopping trip has only provoked me to go shopping for more deals, something I probably shouldn't be doing considering the fact that I still have fall textbooks to buy.
I’m hoping that my wallet has enough smarts to escape my purse tonight while I’m sleeping and run and hide somewhere far out of my reach. If not then, well, I’m going to blame all irresponsible and frivolous shopping tomorrow on my unintelligent wallet.
To make a long story short, I ended up leaving the mall with a bunch of killer deals. I scored a a top for $3.50, two t-shirts for $5.00 each, and a dress for $6.50, bringing everything to a grand total of $20.33- tax included. As Wayne and Garth would say, "SCHWING!"
From then on I have pretty much felt like this:
A freakin' champ, baby.
Unfortunately this ultra-successful shopping trip has only provoked me to go shopping for more deals, something I probably shouldn't be doing considering the fact that I still have fall textbooks to buy.
I’m hoping that my wallet has enough smarts to escape my purse tonight while I’m sleeping and run and hide somewhere far out of my reach. If not then, well, I’m going to blame all irresponsible and frivolous shopping tomorrow on my unintelligent wallet.
Friday, October 8, 2010
Candy world dilemmas
I've always been a little weirded out by people who know, without a doubt, which candy is their absolute favorite. I personally don't understand how an individual can choose just one candy as their *favorite* beyond all the other endless (and delicious) possibilites.
To me it's equivalent to picking your favorite child- though it may be easy in some families, for the most part it's an impossible task. There are certain things you love andhate don't like as much about each of your children, making it impossible to preference one over another. Sometimes you just love spending time with good ol' Timmy, and other times there is nothing better than hanging out with little Sarah. Not to mention it's just outright unfair and immoral to choose one child over another. They're both essentially great kids- since they are after all your kids- so labeling one as 'the best' and one as 'not so good' is not really sensible.
Well, the same applies to candy. Each one has its ups and downs. There's something about most candies that I like a lot, and certain things about a select portion that I absolutely love, causing me to be unable to ever pick a single favorite. And they are all so different! How do you even begin to compare a Snickers bar to a pack of Swedish Fish? Or even a Reese’s Cup to M&Ms? It's impossile and, like children, totally immoral. Each and every candy needs to be appreciated in its own special way
So although I obviously do not have a sole favorite candy, there are a few that I like very, very, very much. One of those is KitKat bars.
Oh, baby. I love KitKats more than I will probably ever love one of my children. It's sad but true. They have been one of my top favorites since I was a wee, chubby child. I just can't help but be slightly obsessed with those slender chocolate wafer bars. They are so chocolatety yet so light! So creamy yet so crispy! Basically KitKats are like heaven to my mouth.
I'm sure you can imagine that I was a tad excited when I discovered that there is a vast array of unique flavors of KitKats across the globe. I'm only familiar with the milk chocolate version so my mind was initially blown. So blown, in fact, that I felt compelled to write a blog post in which I share my discovery with you.
Here are a few of the flavors featured in Clarissa's Most Wanted Flavors of KitKat Bars, all of which are tragically available only in countries outside the United States...
Flavors that were completely unappealing even to a KitKat fanatic like myself:
Wasabi, Soy Sauce, and Grilled Potato.
To check out all the other bajillion flavors go here:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/friedtoast/sets/72157594224722117/?page=2
To me it's equivalent to picking your favorite child- though it may be easy in some families, for the most part it's an impossible task. There are certain things you love and
Well, the same applies to candy. Each one has its ups and downs. There's something about most candies that I like a lot, and certain things about a select portion that I absolutely love, causing me to be unable to ever pick a single favorite. And they are all so different! How do you even begin to compare a Snickers bar to a pack of Swedish Fish? Or even a Reese’s Cup to M&Ms? It's impossile and, like children, totally immoral. Each and every candy needs to be appreciated in its own special way
So although I obviously do not have a sole favorite candy, there are a few that I like very, very, very much. One of those is KitKat bars.
Oh, baby. I love KitKats more than I will probably ever love one of my children. It's sad but true. They have been one of my top favorites since I was a wee, chubby child. I just can't help but be slightly obsessed with those slender chocolate wafer bars. They are so chocolatety yet so light! So creamy yet so crispy! Basically KitKats are like heaven to my mouth.
I'm sure you can imagine that I was a tad excited when I discovered that there is a vast array of unique flavors of KitKats across the globe. I'm only familiar with the milk chocolate version so my mind was initially blown. So blown, in fact, that I felt compelled to write a blog post in which I share my discovery with you.
Here are a few of the flavors featured in Clarissa's Most Wanted Flavors of KitKat Bars, all of which are tragically available only in countries outside the United States...
 |
| Pumpkin (I'm considering to moving to Japan for this one) |
 |
| Maple |
 |
| Blueberry Cheesecake |
 |
| Green Tea |
 |
| Choco-Banana |
 |
| Cookies and Milk |
 |
| Triple Pack! (White Chocolate, Original & Peanut Butter) |
 |
| Raspberry |
Flavors that were completely unappealing even to a KitKat fanatic like myself:
Wasabi, Soy Sauce, and Grilled Potato.
To check out all the other bajillion flavors go here:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/friedtoast/sets/72157594224722117/?page=2
Movin' on up
I'm in need of some change. I need change like the entire Jersey Shore cast needs life coaches. I'm getting a strong case of the blahs and am starting to think a change of scenery would do me good. A new town, new home, new people, new places... Essentially I want to pack up all my measly belongings and move to a resort in some distant tropical locale.
Unfortunately, I have a lot of things on my plate right now and the likelihood of me being able to drop everything and start entirely new is equivalent to -99.9%. In other words: it’s not happening, partna. I have one more quarter left until I’m done with my BA degree- hallelujah!- and then next June I’ll start school again for my MA in teaching. All of the grad programs I’m looking at are local so I’m pretty much stuck within this area for the next year and a half or so. That’s not a bad thing though. I love Washington and the Pacific Northwest. In fact, I would love to stay within this region for the rest of my life.
With that said, I think I’m just sick of *exactly* where I live, which is downtown Tacoma. Don’t get me wrong, Tacoma in general is a great city and I especially love how they’ve revamped the entire downtown area. Our vintage apartment is extremely fun and unique as well, not to mention conveniently located near all of downtown’s lively places. Even with all that though, I’m still yearning to get the heck out of this place. I’m done with the bars, bums, and recently installed parking meters. Our apartment is so hard and cold with its sharp corners, towering ceilings, huge windows, and old wood floors. I want a home with a garage I can park my car in and a backyard my dog can roll around in. Oh, and a fireplace I can drink wine next to! Is that too much to ask?
I want to leave this place:
Cross the westbound side of this bridge:
And live here:
Yes, I want to move to Gig Harbor, an area that is polar opposite of downtown Tacoma. It’s slower, less built, and much more Martha Stewart. Sadly, even being an energetic woman in her early twenties, this is what I crave more than ever. I want to trade in my boisterous twenties in exchange for the life of a humdrum forty year old. It’s official: I’ve lost my youth. Next thing I know I’ll bring drinking Ensure, poppin’ prunes, and seeking a membership at the Elks Club.
You can go ahead and attempt to save me, but I think it’s too late. Instead please support me and promise not to defriend me for my whacky ways. I’m crossing my fingers that moving across the bridge will be the end of my aged ambitions. If it gets any worse, like me having Tupperware parties and planting petunias in the backyard, I give you permission to shoot me.
Not seriously but I do give you permission to grab me and shake me vigorously while screaming, “WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!”
Deal?
Unfortunately, I have a lot of things on my plate right now and the likelihood of me being able to drop everything and start entirely new is equivalent to -99.9%. In other words: it’s not happening, partna. I have one more quarter left until I’m done with my BA degree- hallelujah!- and then next June I’ll start school again for my MA in teaching. All of the grad programs I’m looking at are local so I’m pretty much stuck within this area for the next year and a half or so. That’s not a bad thing though. I love Washington and the Pacific Northwest. In fact, I would love to stay within this region for the rest of my life.
With that said, I think I’m just sick of *exactly* where I live, which is downtown Tacoma. Don’t get me wrong, Tacoma in general is a great city and I especially love how they’ve revamped the entire downtown area. Our vintage apartment is extremely fun and unique as well, not to mention conveniently located near all of downtown’s lively places. Even with all that though, I’m still yearning to get the heck out of this place. I’m done with the bars, bums, and recently installed parking meters. Our apartment is so hard and cold with its sharp corners, towering ceilings, huge windows, and old wood floors. I want a home with a garage I can park my car in and a backyard my dog can roll around in. Oh, and a fireplace I can drink wine next to! Is that too much to ask?
I want to leave this place:
Cross the westbound side of this bridge:
And live here:
Yes, I want to move to Gig Harbor, an area that is polar opposite of downtown Tacoma. It’s slower, less built, and much more Martha Stewart. Sadly, even being an energetic woman in her early twenties, this is what I crave more than ever. I want to trade in my boisterous twenties in exchange for the life of a humdrum forty year old. It’s official: I’ve lost my youth. Next thing I know I’ll bring drinking Ensure, poppin’ prunes, and seeking a membership at the Elks Club.
You can go ahead and attempt to save me, but I think it’s too late. Instead please support me and promise not to defriend me for my whacky ways. I’m crossing my fingers that moving across the bridge will be the end of my aged ambitions. If it gets any worse, like me having Tupperware parties and planting petunias in the backyard, I give you permission to shoot me.
Not seriously but I do give you permission to grab me and shake me vigorously while screaming, “WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!”
Deal?
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Kinda a big deal
Today is a very special day. It is September 30th, 2010 and some serious history makin' is about to go down.
Tonight my better half and his band, Basic Radio, will be performing at El Corazon in Seattle. This is not just any show though. Oh, no. Tonight is their showcase for Tooth and Nail Records, a major record label that has signed many widely known bands such as MxPx, Underoath, and Anberlin. If all goes well, as I have faith it will, Basic Radio will sign a deal with the label, something they have all worked so relentlessly to achieve.
B alone has been playing in bands since he was twelve; however, his love of music and instruments began even earlier than that. He loves music with all he's got. He loves it so much that if it were actually legal to marry a guitar in the state of Washington, he would probably wed his walnut Rickenbacker 650. Unluckily for him yet luckily for me, that is not possible. Instead he is forever stuck with me, though I am a gracious enough partner to tolerate him having a modest affair with said guitar. She is the only mistress I will ever allow. Ever.
Since music has always been an obsession of his, he's never had the 'all or nothing' mentality. Like, "If I don't get signed by age XX, I'm putting my guitar away and moving on." Such a thought would never cross his mind because to him life without music is unfathomable. Even if this doesn't work out he will still play music and perform infront of crowds- just to a lesser degree. Heck, I can guarantee you that forty years from now I will still be coming home to him sitting in the living room strumming on the guitar. It's how it is and how it will always be.
Nevertheless, it would be amazing if he were granted the opportunity to travel the world and share his music with an endless crowd of people. And to be able to make a living off of doing that as well? That would be the icing on the cake.
I will have my fingers crossed tonight, secretly wishing that everything plays out perfectly. Even if it doesn't though, B will always remain my favorite rockstar.
Tonight my better half and his band, Basic Radio, will be performing at El Corazon in Seattle. This is not just any show though. Oh, no. Tonight is their showcase for Tooth and Nail Records, a major record label that has signed many widely known bands such as MxPx, Underoath, and Anberlin. If all goes well, as I have faith it will, Basic Radio will sign a deal with the label, something they have all worked so relentlessly to achieve.
 |
| There is the address of where I'll be tonight. Now is the perfect time to stalk me! |
B alone has been playing in bands since he was twelve; however, his love of music and instruments began even earlier than that. He loves music with all he's got. He loves it so much that if it were actually legal to marry a guitar in the state of Washington, he would probably wed his walnut Rickenbacker 650. Unluckily for him yet luckily for me, that is not possible. Instead he is forever stuck with me, though I am a gracious enough partner to tolerate him having a modest affair with said guitar. She is the only mistress I will ever allow. Ever.
 |
| Him and the 'other woman' |
Since music has always been an obsession of his, he's never had the 'all or nothing' mentality. Like, "If I don't get signed by age XX, I'm putting my guitar away and moving on." Such a thought would never cross his mind because to him life without music is unfathomable. Even if this doesn't work out he will still play music and perform infront of crowds- just to a lesser degree. Heck, I can guarantee you that forty years from now I will still be coming home to him sitting in the living room strumming on the guitar. It's how it is and how it will always be.
Nevertheless, it would be amazing if he were granted the opportunity to travel the world and share his music with an endless crowd of people. And to be able to make a living off of doing that as well? That would be the icing on the cake.
I will have my fingers crossed tonight, secretly wishing that everything plays out perfectly. Even if it doesn't though, B will always remain my favorite rockstar.
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Clarissa's Diet
Looking to lose a few extra pounds? Got some pesky love handles you are dying to get rid of? Maybe a few inches you want to lose from your waist so that you are looking slim and trim for holiday portraits? Well, I may possibly be of service to you.
Forget Jenny Craig, say goodbye to Weight Watchers. I have the ultimate weight loss plan to introduce to you: Clarissa's Diet. What does it consist of? Well, I can tell you what it doesn't consist of. There is no restricted diet, absolutely no exercise plan, and not a single pill or supplement. Nope. Nada.
All it requires is a one month stay at mi casa and you will be on your way to the body of your dreams! Yes, you heard right. I guarantee that if you come and stay ONE MONTH at my apartment, you will shed at least twenty pounds of unwanted fat and bulge.
You may be wondering: how in the world is this possible?
Well let me fill you in on a little secret....
For the past three weeks now our fridge has looked like this:
Forget Jenny Craig, say goodbye to Weight Watchers. I have the ultimate weight loss plan to introduce to you: Clarissa's Diet. What does it consist of? Well, I can tell you what it doesn't consist of. There is no restricted diet, absolutely no exercise plan, and not a single pill or supplement. Nope. Nada.
All it requires is a one month stay at mi casa and you will be on your way to the body of your dreams! Yes, you heard right. I guarantee that if you come and stay ONE MONTH at my apartment, you will shed at least twenty pounds of unwanted fat and bulge.
You may be wondering: how in the world is this possible?
Well let me fill you in on a little secret....
For the past three weeks now our fridge has looked like this:
'Tis true. Our fridge has been almost entirely empty for nearly a month now. In other words, I've been living off of water and air... and I've never looked better!
Ok, not really. I've eaten food. I mean, hello?! I, of all people, cannot last even a day without a single carb. Nonetheless, our fridge has really been that strikingly bare for quite awhile now. Not only is it depressing but it's also troublesome.
What do you suppose I do at ten o'clock at night when I'm hit with an intense case of the munchies? I can assure you I don't reach for that tub of butter or that jar of Sriracha hot chili sauce. Neither are capable of satisfying that late night hunger craving... or any craving for that matter. And the eggs you ask? Well, the eggs could be a feasible option but that particular carton was one of the brands recently recalled for possible Salmonella so we've been understandably hesitant to consume them... and apparently hesitant to throw them away as well.
But before you start showing up at our front door with canned goods or send us directions to the nearest food bank though, please know that we are not that broke. We've just been too busy to go shopping/are weird eaters/love having an excuse to eat out.
I will, on the other hand, accept any and all donations in the form of cash, check, or pumpkin pie... oh, and Nordstrom gift certificates. Those will work, too.
If I was Oprah Rich: Round IV
If I was Oprah rich... I would have a killer pool in my backyard.
Think Playboy mansion style...
With a couple of these bad boys...
Please note that I do not want the Playboy mansion pool. There is no amount of pool cleaner/chlorine/bleach that can wash away all the nasties floating in those waters and covering those surfaces. Ideally I would like to be able to do the breast-stroke across my pool without contracting syphilis or getting a pube in my eye, and I'm afraid that isn't possible in Hugh Hefner's giant sex bath.
Think Playboy mansion style...
With a couple of these bad boys...
Please note that I do not want the Playboy mansion pool. There is no amount of pool cleaner/chlorine/bleach that can wash away all the nasties floating in those waters and covering those surfaces. Ideally I would like to be able to do the breast-stroke across my pool without contracting syphilis or getting a pube in my eye, and I'm afraid that isn't possible in Hugh Hefner's giant sex bath.
Clarissa+Gum=Love
I have a passionate infatuation with gum. How passionate you ask? Let’s just say that I go through several packs a week. I’m like Violet Beauregarde from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. It’s that serious. The chances of you catching me without a pack of gum in my bag is about -.05%. In truth, I probably have multiple packs on me, typically at least one fruity flavor and one mint flavor.
At this rate it can be somewhat of an expensive habit so I often buy multiple packs when a certain brand is on sale at the grocery store. I would guesstimate that I spend approximately $7-10 a week on gum, which to me, a broke college student, is a sizeable amount of money. I still make the sacrifice though since it’s not a bad habit to feed into. Gum not only freshens your breath but it also cleans your teeth. What’s so bad about that?
After all, I could be addicted to meth. But I'm not. Thank God.
Gum > Meth.
Anyway, I was at Fred Meyer yesterday buying eight hundred pounds of grapes- another costly addiction of mine- when I came across a catchy display of new gum flavors. Upon closer inspection I discovered that Wrigley’s Extra gum has released a new line of flavors titled ‘Dessert Delights’ featuring the following flavors: Key Lime Pie, Chocolate Chip Mint, and Strawberry Shortcake. Being a huge fan of everything and anything in the dessert category, I immediately swooped up a pack of the Key Lime Pie. I was so stoked I may or may not have unwrapped the pack before even stepping foot outside the Fred Meyer exit.
My verdict?
HOLY YUM! It’s amazing. As I raved to a few people, you can not only taste the creamy key lime but also the buttery graham cracker crust! It's every Weight Watchers member's dream come true. But really- try the gum. NOW. It’s so realistically delicious. I plan on trying the other flavors as soon as I get through this pack, which will likely be at the end of today.
After discovering this astounding gum, I began to brainstorm other realistically delicious flavors. To touch upon Charlie and the Chocolate Factory again, it’s kind of like the three-course meal flavor Willy Wonka developed, which contained the flavors of tomato soup, roast beef with a baked potato, and blueberry pie- all which are experienced in sequential manner when being chewed. Y'know, like a real three-course meal. Der.
Without further ado, here are some flavors of gum I would trade my right pinky finger for. (Because who uses that finger anyway?)
B’s dream flavor?
Barf.
Feel free to chime in with your personal fantasy flavors.
Or not.
Whatever.
At this rate it can be somewhat of an expensive habit so I often buy multiple packs when a certain brand is on sale at the grocery store. I would guesstimate that I spend approximately $7-10 a week on gum, which to me, a broke college student, is a sizeable amount of money. I still make the sacrifice though since it’s not a bad habit to feed into. Gum not only freshens your breath but it also cleans your teeth. What’s so bad about that?
After all, I could be addicted to meth. But I'm not. Thank God.
Gum > Meth.
Anyway, I was at Fred Meyer yesterday buying eight hundred pounds of grapes- another costly addiction of mine- when I came across a catchy display of new gum flavors. Upon closer inspection I discovered that Wrigley’s Extra gum has released a new line of flavors titled ‘Dessert Delights’ featuring the following flavors: Key Lime Pie, Chocolate Chip Mint, and Strawberry Shortcake. Being a huge fan of everything and anything in the dessert category, I immediately swooped up a pack of the Key Lime Pie. I was so stoked I may or may not have unwrapped the pack before even stepping foot outside the Fred Meyer exit.
My verdict?
HOLY YUM! It’s amazing. As I raved to a few people, you can not only taste the creamy key lime but also the buttery graham cracker crust! It's every Weight Watchers member's dream come true. But really- try the gum. NOW. It’s so realistically delicious. I plan on trying the other flavors as soon as I get through this pack, which will likely be at the end of today.
After discovering this astounding gum, I began to brainstorm other realistically delicious flavors. To touch upon Charlie and the Chocolate Factory again, it’s kind of like the three-course meal flavor Willy Wonka developed, which contained the flavors of tomato soup, roast beef with a baked potato, and blueberry pie- all which are experienced in sequential manner when being chewed. Y'know, like a real three-course meal. Der.
Without further ado, here are some flavors of gum I would trade my right pinky finger for. (Because who uses that finger anyway?)
 |
| Pumpkin Pie with Whipped Cream |
 |
| Mango Sticky Rice |
 |
| Banana Nut Bread |
 |
| Red Bean Mochi |
 |
| Cherry Cheesecake |
 |
| Champagne |
B’s dream flavor?
 |
| Turkey Dinner |
Feel free to chime in with your personal fantasy flavors.
Or not.
Whatever.
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